Thoughts on joy

When I started writing this blog post I was mainly wanting to share photos, and just a few paragraphs about Joy, and the idea behind the fragrance, but as I started writing, it turned out I had some thoughts to share. In the past I would perhaps have been too anxious to hit ‘publish’ on anything I don’t see myself as an absolute expert on, out of worry of what people might think, but present day me apparently knows better. She knows that whatever I feel like sharing is ok. It doesn’t have to be new or monumental every time, and maybe, almost surely, it’s been said before, and probably by much more eloquent people. But it hasn’t been said here. And it hasn’t been said by me. And you never know who needs to read your specific words, and hear your specific thoughts. So in that spirit, here’s a lengthy and wordy post, worthy of the former blogger that I am!

For years, in fact for most of my life, I would be so afraid to tell people when something good happened in my life, because I sincerely believed that talking about it would cause it to be taken away from me. As if the very moment I expressed joy or happiness, I’d have already jinxed it. And hey, in most cases, events seemed to confirm this theory for me, as the thing I was so excited about would in fact get taken away, and I was left feeling remorseful and embarrassed to have even told anyone about the new relationship, that had now ended, or something to that equally soul crushing effect. But where I used to believe I was literally the one who caused it by ‘bragging’ about my happiness or good fortune, I now choose believe that some things just aren’t meant for me, or if they are, that doesn’t mean they’re meant to be mine permanently, because not everything is permanent… in fact nothing is. But by creating anxiety in the present, by anticipating disaster in the future, which by the way is a perfectly rational defense mechanism if you’ve experienced great pain and disappointment in the past, and worrying about losing what we have, and ruminating over how much of it we’ll get to keep in the future, all we’re doing, all I was doing, is failing to feel grateful for the only thing we truly have for sure: the present moment.

But choosing not to mentally prepare for disaster, which some of us do because we believe that we can somehow minimize the pain we’ll feel once it potentially strikes, takes great vulnerability, and that, just like presence and gratitude, is a practice. I created Joy to assist me in that daily practice. To try and transfix myself in the moments where I feel happy and ecstatic, sometimes because of good fortune, but mostly because of nothing at all, and my friends, I for one am capable of feeling great joy over absolutely nothing! And I am learning to finally just allow myself to feel joy in that moment, sometimes almost completely without future-dread that has existed for so many years to protect me from experiencing more pain, and how to extend joyful moments, and get the absolute most out of them.

Apart from worrying about jinxing ourselves and our luck, or happiness, there are other factors that seem to sometimes conspire to put a damper on our joy, and in essence deny us the moment.

One is living in a culture that puts a lot of value on being informed and socially conscious, and rightfully so, as this is important to a lot of us, and toxic positivity, or spiritual people acting as if they live on a separate plane that exempts them from caring about other people, is a very real phenomenon, especially on social media. But the downside of putting so much value on being informed, and speaking up, about current issues and events, can be a reluctance to share your personal joy out of fear of appearing insensitive to global events and people who are experiencing hardships, or appearing overly privileged. Being perceived as insensitive, or straight up bragging, is something a lot of us try to avoid, either because we genuinely are worried about hurting people’s feelings, or because we’re concerned about what other people think of us. But I believe sharing your joy can be as important as sharing a social cause you care about. Capturing a moment where you feel truly amazing, whether it’s just you having a good day at home, or you experienced something out of the ordinary like catching a spectacular view on a holiday, or achieving a goal you’ve set for yourself, and choosing to share these moments can cause the same ripple effects as sharing a important cause can, when done at the right time, and reaching the right people. Joy and (real, actual) positivity is contagious, and, just like when you share openly and vulnerably about your pain, you give others permission to do the same, and you just never know what sharing your story can do for someone.

Another factor that can cause us to deny ourselves these vitals moments of joy, is believing we somehow have to earn them. Just like we’ve been conditioned to believe that we must work hard to earn something as simple and necessary as rest and peace, our conditioning can also tell us that to deserve joy, we must experience sorrow and heartache. Pop culture, movies, and music love to affirm this belief by telling stories of people overcoming great odds before ending up with love, or money, or whatever the particular storyteller sees as a symbol of true happiness. But true happiness, as we know, is not a constant state you achieve once you have ‘the thing’. It lies in the moments, it’s the lightness that comes from letting go of attachments and limiting beliefs, it’s living a life of purpose and fulfillment rather than chasing emotional highs, it’s knowing and loving yourself, allowing for self expression without fear of judgment, it’s kindness extended to, and received from others, it’s feeling seen by the people that matter to us, and it’s waking up and choosing to allow yourself to feel whatever you feel in that moment, including joy. Even if you didn’t suffer, or work hard for it.

A third factor that seem to sometimes deter people from, not necessarily experiencing joy, but at least sharing it, is something I see a lot in spiritual and witchcraft communities: fear of evil eye when sharing something positive on social media. Basically it’s the fear, and even assumption, that your joy will cause someone who doesn’t have your best interest at heart, someone envious of what they think you have, or what they think you are, to consciously or unknowingly, send bad energy or even illness your way. I see this much in the same way, as when I was scared of jinxing myself, except in this case it’s the belief that someone else will do the jinxing for you, out of ill will, pettiness, unhappiness of their own, jealousy, or some other reason. And while we can agree that not everyone is on your team, and not everyone deserves to know the details of what you’re working on, or what makes you happy in any given moment, by holding back from sharing any aspect of your joy because of the possibility that someone might think poorly of you, you’re also holding back from inspiring the people who are legit rooting for you, and maybe from finding people who are meant to be in your life and contribute to it as well. Whether you believe in evil eye or not (I certainly do, Protect exists for a reason!), I think it’s a healthy practice to take a moment before openly sharing something, to discern if the thing you are considering sharing is actually meant for public consumption, or if it’s better enjoyed just by you, or with a close friend. If that moment doesn’t come easy to you, create one by journaling and writing down the result you hope to achieve by sharing. Sometimes it’s not what you think! But either way, learning not to overshare for the sake of external praise or validation, or be be reassured by someone else that you’re doing the right thing instead of trusting your intuition, that’s just keeping healthy boundaries with yourself. Should you choose to keep your joy to yourself, do it because that’s what feels right to you, not because you fear that someone will put a curse on you just from seeing your joy. That’s no way to live. However, if you’re thinking of someone specific while reading this, then this is your sign to block, mute, or unfriend them, because your intuition is already telling you they aren’t capable of being happy for you, and supporting you.

My belief is that joy and fulfillment is our birthright, and that we’re born joyful and authentic. And while this unfortunately gets conditioned right out of (most of) us throughout our childhood, in school, from parents and authority figures, from the media and advertising we consume, I also believe that what we call the work is a process of unlearning all the programming that isn’t really us, and getting back to being who we were born, and meant to evolve, as. By every day, or as often as possible, doing something that helps you shed a little bit of the false narrative that you aren’t already enough, and that you have to achieve ‘something’ in order to deserve happiness, whatever you were brought up to believe that ‘something’ is, you can get closer and closer to finding your joy and your authentic self. And in a hustle culture hellbent on achievement and status, saying that being happy is a perfectly good goal to have in life may not be the most popular opinion, but there are so many ways to affect and inspire other people’s lives, and make small, but significant, changes to the world we live in. Just because you don’t see the impact your energy has on the world around you, doesn’t mean it isn’t making one!

Now to circle back to the original purpose of this post for a minute! One of the things I love about having this little company, is that it gives me a creative outlet in so many more ways than I expected! I thought at first I was just going to enjoy making products, learning more about plants and herbs, and how to create formulas, but as the project progressed, I found myself also learning more about design, how and where to make labels, flyers, and websites, and most importantly, and this is something I achieved by not sharing my ideas with a single soul until they were actually in production, about what I like and what works for me, without seeking the approval of trusted friends. Even photography, something I’ve always been passionate about, turned out to be a much bigger part of this company than I thought it was going to be, and taking pictures of my products, and making little sets and photo shoots in my kitchen, is one of the things I love most about Treehaus Botanicals! And while marketing itself, or should I say marketing on behalf of myself, is still for the most part a mystery to me, I so enjoy sharing pictures on social media every time I’ve done a photo shoot. And since I have so many of these pictures, and I’m so proud of how they turned out, a way for me to express that joy, while being a wise parent to a somewhat needy inner child, is to share them here, just like my words, without fear or shame!

One of the ingredients of the Joy Talisman Spray that encourages getting in touch with your inner child is Mandarin essential oil, which also helps release negative emotions and unlock stagnant creativity. But all of the essential oils that make up the formula behind Joy were chosen to add a specific aspect that makes up the feeling of joy! Lemon was chosen for its ability to remove blockages and negativity, Ginger Lily for lifting the spirit and releasing frustration, Clary Sage for alleviating stress and helping you to get in touch with your creativity, Coconut for embracing purity and naïveté, and because it reminds me of fun and travel, Hyssop for lightening your vibration, Neroli for its ability to promote a sense of joy, happiness, confidence, and overcoming emotional blockages, Palmarosa for opening the heart and healing from trauma, Jasmine for attracting spiritual love and promoting new ideas, Benzoin for soothing tensions and diminishing anger and irritability, Tonka Bean for courage and enhancing intentions, and Bergamot for relieving anxiety and attracting abundance.

The Joy Talisman Spray is now available in a gift edition that includes a collage postcard with a discount code for your next purchase, and a herbal smoke cleansing tool made from locally foraged mugwort, lavender, rosemary, red clovers, and purple freesias.

Thanks for reading along, and taking part in this journey of scents, intentions, dreams, words, and pictures, and I hope you were able to take something of value away from this post!